the night is still young and the roads are still warm

im following these footsteps whichever path they take me cause who cares, i've lost my senses

it's like having your tongue tied and each word becomes hard to verbalize

maybe "words" are the only thing i'm good at, i'm not good to be kept around

the history repeats itself over and over i'm forced to wave goodbye to what seemed to be dreamy from afar because when i take a look closer i am but a silent burden that hangs on everyone's shoulders. it must be nice to be able to live without extreme anxiety and insecurity that transform you into a stupid clown in front of people. it might sound funny but its not, and its sad

im about to close the door and walk another five steps into the border

let's meet again when we are better for each other

i stare in amazement as you talk about your favorite things; songs, books, and dreams. there's fire in your eyes as each word is being thrown and in that moment i feel like being home. you're filled with motivation and endless amount of inspiration yet who am i kidding? even if i dig my own grave i wont perceive them any longer they're tangled in the wind along with those undying dreams. life is beautiful, you told me with a smile, and i swear im fighting on each step i take to recall the things you say just to elevate my feet higher. every time i take a breath i can hear your voice clearly, the distant voice that initiates nothing but false intimacy. people only listen to others so they get a chance to talk but i'd rather ask you to not stop conversing. i'd sit under the moon with my mouth sealed like a dog that stays and listens to its master's rants and hopes; which i dont mind at all because if you can read my mind you'd be in tears

its the third weekend and im lying still with half make up on, apparently tears are a much better form of make up remover they even removed these undying waterproof chemicals on my lids. how great it is to be able to travel within 100 kinds of reality at the same time and as i peek into each door there's a new possibility waiting in the corner, waiting to be greeted warmly. i need an approval to jump into one where theres so much distress and lack of emptiness or needless to say the thoughts ive been dreaming of for so long. its better to be alone but not so much when you're lonely; i try to identify the issue but wasn't allowed to do so since time keeps on looping and i wake up to another same day and same thing. once they whispered in my ears that all of this would change when i look outside and embrace the "normal" and "sane" circumstance though little did they know that its easier to replace those words with "monotonous". one day constant solitude might be our normal condition yet its too late, the sun is starting to climb up and my fingers remain cold

shouldve kept my mouth shut yet my tongue came undone; at least it started off as a great ride, at least it is what it seemed to be. its alright i keep telling myself so then the effort to ignore the best part of you becomes the hardest thing to do. being in love is like sticking your hand into a bag full of snakes and broken glasses just to find a piece of candy thats hopefully not poisonous. i've learned my lesson i said a thousand times those are the words and sometimes words mean nothing because they are but a train of thoughts that leads you to a twisted darkness far far in the woods. people say let it flow like a river but im just a cold deep lake