wonderland

its late at night
im staring blankly at the ceiling
my eyes are opened wide
though my consciousness is slowly fading

through my peripheral vision
i see you,
like a premonition
a dream thats yet to come true

a smile is carved on your face
its saccharine and intoxicating
i cant help but to chase
your shadow though my steps are falling

i fantasize a hand to hold
with your fingers and mine intertwined
reality feels like a second world
when i lived too long inside my mind

let's ride to sugar beach
where the umbrellas are pink and the sand looks like sugar
the ocean is deep blue and the clouds are high
and we soon fall asleep under the stars

i've always wanted everything to pass quickly
but not this time, the time where i just want the clock to stop
stop it from ticking, stop things from moving
just for a moment to cherish this sweet embrace

i hate to wake up and see you go
it only made me realize that this was all but a dream
a fragment of imagination tattooed at the back of my mind
that i can't let go no matter how hard i try

and as your shadow slowly gets wiped by the cotton waves
i gather the remaining memory in the palm of my hand
it keeps on slipping through the gaps of my fingers but i don't mind
it's still sweet. like sugar. every bit of it.

sometimes you can only feel something by its absence. by the empty space it leaves behind. nostalgia is a trick. a rose colored glasses that deludes your view toward the perfection that is yesterday. yesterday is the place that you constantly long to go back to, because the present lacks of contentment. and slowly you find yourself drowning in a sea of thoughts. the long lost memories.

and its also true that sometimes, you miss the memories, not the experience.